“How can we help?” What to do when your friends adopt.

Not every family will be called to adopt.  You might be interested in orphan care or thrilled when your good friends decide to adopt or foster a child, but God just hasn’t convicted you to take that step.  If you are in this category there are several things you can do to help your friends and fellow church members who have heard the call, obeyed and taken a step of faith.

1. PRAY FOR THEM.  In a get on your knees and beg the Father kind of way. What should you pray for?  Start with these suggestions and let their needs guide you from there.

  • Pray that the children feel safe with their new family.
  • Pray that the parents will have a steady flow of patience, strength, discernment and wisdom from above.
  • Pray for endurance, children do not attach and adapt overnight.  This can be a long and difficult journey for some.
  • Pray a hedge of protection around the family.  They will experience spiritual attacks like they have never endured before.
  • Pray that God would heal the wounds of the child(ren), that fears of abandonment and mistrust will be overcome.
  • Tell them you are praying and follow through.

2. Perform acts of service

  • Provide a meal after the children have come home.  The first few weeks are full of trials and sleepless nights.  Taking meal preparation off their hands is an incredible gift.  It is appropriate to visit with the family when you take a meal, but be careful not to stay too long.
  • Clean a bathroom, or the whole house!  You may have a hard time getting Mom to agree to this so I suggest that you call her up and say ” I am planning to help you get some housework (or laundry) done next week, I can come Monday or Wednesday at 9am, which would you prefer?”  Don’t ask if you can help, or what you can do, being direct and giving an option allows her to accept much needed help without feeling like she has to protest.  Come prepared with a little cleaning kit in tow so that you can get to work instead of asking where the cleaning supplies are.
  • Give a gift card for a restaurant or general purpose store like Wal-Mart or Target.  The families will have unexpected expenses come up, or things they need for the newest member of the family and a gift card allows them to get exactly what they need.
  • Donate clothing in the child’s size.  If a family is bringing home an 8 year old boy and your 10 year old son has a tub of outgrown clothing, offer to let mom and dad go through the items and pick out what they need.

3. Give

  • Supporting a family financially as they struggle to gather the last bits of funding to complete their adoption is a huge blessing.  A little goes a long way.
  • Buy their t-shirt, cook book or whatever it is they are promoting to raise funds.  When you sport their wares you not only contribute, but help spread the word as well.

This list is just the beginning of what you can do for an adoptive or foster care family.  The widely circulated saying “it takes a village to raise a child” may not be altogether correct but in my opinion it definitely takes “a village” or in this case “a church” to adopt a child.

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